Clean jokes...

There is a man in college but, he still hasn't decided which classes to take. So he is talking to some professors and one says, "you should take my logic class. let me show you an example.", the student agrees,

"do you own a lawnmower?"
"yes"
"so you own a lawn"
"yes"
Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house.
Impressed, the student said,
"Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife," continued the professor.
"Yeah I do"
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right!" exclaimed the student. I can't wait to take that logic class!!"
So excited he calls up his friend and asks, "do you own a lawnmower?"
"no"
"so you're a homosexual."

that's bad.

here's one cornier than a field in nebraska:

two guys walk into a bar. you'd think the second would notice.


He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

Quick one (gotta head to work here in a minute)....

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

You wave at her.

There two blonde people. one is digging holes and the other is filling them up. a man was watching them do this dig it up fill it up. so finally he asks them what they are doing, "what are you doing?" well they were planting trees "we are planting trees" said one of them. their tree planter is sick, "our tree planter is sick"